"> Connect or Fail! – Executive Leadership Coaching | Dan Mirgon & Associates

Connect or Fail!

Executive Leadership Coaching | Dan Mirgon & Associates

According to many experts, the average person receives some thirty-five thousand messages each day.  Is it any wonder that with all the ads and the “noise” of business – it’s getting harder to get anything done?

Each week I clean out the trash folder in my PC.  Last week the number of deleted or junk emails was 973.  Add to that the emails I kept, the phone calls, personal conversations, television ads, junk mail, meetings, events, billboards, social media, and personal requests – and I completely believe the statistic above.

With all the communication, you would think that great results would be found everywhere, but sadly, the opposite is true.

Growing a business, improving the results in a division, or surviving a family reunion all require one key skill that communication can’t provide.  The ability to Connect.

“It (connecting) is the ability to identify with people and relate
to them in a way that increases your influence with them.”
– John C Maxwell

Vastly different than communicating, connecting is where the real success lives in all of our relationships.  Without connecting on a personal level, businesses waste money and time, people lose interest and quit the project or the job, and all the important battles are lost.

But in order to connect with your audience effectively and increase your influence with those in your charge, a leader needs to understand four basic principles.

  1. It’s all about others. We must make it all about their needs, hopes and concerns.  Only then can we find common ground where moving forward together is something they will participate in.
  2. It goes beyond words. According to many studies, there are three components of communication that we must manage well.  The words, our tone of voice, and our body language.  It is said that what we say accounts for only 7% of what a person believes, 38% percent is gleaned from how we say it, and 55% from what people see when we are saying it.
  3. It always requires energy. It’s hard work for sure.  Connecting requires Initiative (you go first), Clarity (be prepared), Patience (slow down), and Selflessness (give don’t take).  You have to apply yourself and give it your best.  No room for ego here.
  4. It’s more skill than natural talent. Five factors stand out in those who connect well.
    1. They build great relationships (who you know)
    2. They bring great insight (what you know)
    3. They are an example of success (what you have done)
    4. They have ability (what you can do)
    5. They sacrifice for others (how you have lived)

In the end, for Leaders to influence an outcome, you must find common ground and pour lots of energy into making real connections.

As the title of John Maxwell’s book says; “Everyone Communicates Few Connect.”  (you should read it by the way), if your communication doesn’t seem to be making any headway, perhaps your connection isn’t as solid as it should be.

QUESTION:  Look back over the conversations you had last week.  Did you communicate when you should have connected?

 

 

Dan Mirgon

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